26 Things I'd Tell My Younger Self
As a freshly 26-year-old wife, mom, and Christian woman
I just turned 26-years-old, and being this age is very interesting.
The majority of your life up until this point has been your childhood. As a 26-year-old person, you’ve only been an adult for 8 years, yet it feels like a whole lifetime. At least for me.
Every quarter I live, I turn into a different human with different interests, dreams, and even beliefs about certain things. And as much as I want to say that I don’t look back, I do pretty often. I think to myself: “If only I knew about XYZ when I was 18, 22, or even 25.”
The saying that hindsight is 20/20 rings true in my life, and it feels like it is even more amplified because I am the eldest sibling (of 7).
So, I sat down and wrote 26 things that I would tell my younger self if I could have a conversation with her.
You are not old. I distinctly remember the feeling of being 18 and feeling like the years between 18-20 would last forever. “I’m so young and cool,” I thought to myself. I looked at women who were 24 as if they were extremely old compared to me. And then I hit 21. I remember feeling like I should have accomplished so much more by then. But here’s the reality: we all know that no one knows when they will pass, but most people live a pretty long life. Into their 80s even. The reality that I live in now is that I am the youngest I will ever be. Someone who is 40, 50, 90, wishes they were my age right now, basking in their 20s without body aches and wrinkles (by the way, you can say this for any age. Someone who is 95 may wish that they were 70 again). It is a waste of energy to think to yourself that you wish you were younger because you will never get the time back. It’s much better to accept reality and do your best with every second God grants you in this world.
Don’t sign up or pay for MLMs. Just don’t.
Not everything needs to be shared. You don’t have to document every thought, every plan, every dream. Some things grow better in private. Protect what God is doing in your life before it’s fully formed. Every time I’ve hidden something I was working on instead of blurting it out before it was completed, I’ve been thankful.
Choose your friends carefully. Not everyone who laughs with you is for you. Pay attention to who encourages your growth and who quietly resents it. You’ll know real friends by their fruit. They check up on you, don’t make you feel left out, and encourage you. I wrote an article here if you’re interested in my take on friends.
Actions speak louder than words. If they tell you one thing, but do something else, believe what they show you through their actions.
Learn how to be alone. Not lonely, but alone. There is a difference. I was in college so focused on wanting to be apart of the friend group, always wanting to be included, and then disappointed when I wasn’t. If you learn to enjoy your own company, whether your friends invite you or not won’t make a difference. Learn hobbies, build something with your own hands, you will not regret it.
Your habits are building your future. The small, daily choices you make feel insignificant, but they are quietly shaping your life more than any big decision ever will.
Stop rushing your timeline. You are not behind. You are not late. You are living your life, not someone else’s highlight reel.
Take care of your body early. You don’t need to wait for a wake-up call. Move your body, nourish it well, rest. It will thank you later.
Apologize quicker. Pride will keep you stuck longer than the mistake ever would.
Not every opportunity is from God. Just because something looks good doesn’t mean it’s meant for you. Discernment will save you from unnecessary detours (and MLMs).
Money habits matter. Learn how to manage the finances that God has blessed you with. Learn how to create and keep a budget. Set financial goals and hit them! Do not take on debt. You will be so thankful you did this.
Comparison will rob you every time. There will always be someone ahead of you in something. Stay focused on your assignment, your home, your marriage, your life! When I learned how to look at life with a lens of gratitude instead of envy, everything changed for the better. You will start to see mundane things as blessings from the Lord, because they are!
Your words carry weight. Especially in marriage, in friendships, in family. Speak with intention, not just emotion.
Consistency beats motivation. You will not always feel like doing the goal you’ve set for yourself. It’s best to do it anyway! I used to set very lofty goals until I learned that things require you to do them one step at a time. It’s great to have the big dreams, but you have to start small and consistently. Allow yourself to get the small wins and build those habits. You’ll look back in months and years and see all you’ve accomplished.
Don’t ignore red flags hoping they’ll turn green. They won’t. What you see early on usually only becomes more obvious with time.
Learn to receive correction. It’s uncomfortable, but it will refine you if you let it. It’s better to have friendships and mentors with people who are not afraid to tell you the truth in love.
Protect your peace. Not everything deserves a reaction, a response, or your energy. This is one that I’ve learned recently. I used to watch political podcasts almost every day for years. It’s entertaining until it ruins your mind by allowing it to fill you with fear and chaos. My life has been so peaceful since I’ve unsubscribed from that fear-based life.
Choose to respect your husband. Allow him to make decisions, and then trust him. Encourage him and be his helpmate. This is a godly and good thing to do.
You don’t need to prove yourself to everyone. The right people won’t require constant validation of your worth.
Choose to work hard at your job. Don’t coast. Don’t just get by. Work with excellence and do everything unto the Lord!
Your identity should be rooted in something deeper than accomplishments. Titles change. Seasons shift. Know who you are in Christ beyond what you do.
Rest is productive. Burning out doesn’t make you more valuable.
Be teachable. You don’t know everything, and that’s a good thing.
Marriage is not about winning. It’s about unity, humility, and choosing love even when it’s hard.
God’s timing is better than yours. Even when it feels slow. Even when it feels confusing. Looking back, you’ll see the purpose in the waiting.
If I could go back and hand this list to my younger self, I would. But since I can’t, I’m giving it to you instead.
You don’t have to learn everything the hard way. Some of these lessons took me years of mistakes, quiet moments, and a lot of grace to understand. If even one of them saves you time, heartache, or confusion, then this was worth writing.
You are not behind. You are not too late. You are exactly where God needs you to be, learning exactly what He needs you to learn.
Trust Him, and remember to do everything with excellence.
See this article on our new blog here.
